so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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