How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
