omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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