let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize
