Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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