We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
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It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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