Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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