walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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