It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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