just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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