I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
this is an emotional support booty call
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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