He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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