not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize