in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
