Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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