we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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