so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
