i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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