Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she pinky promised me she was 18
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
