Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
