i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
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He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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