Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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