dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
