once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
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I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
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Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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