I feel like abortions should bother me more
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
