Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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