Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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