We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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