eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
