i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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