i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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