I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
