So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
They took my balls.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
