Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
