Don't you send me to vm
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
