He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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