and she was petting her beer can
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
