Sponge bath it is.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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