Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
