Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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