Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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