Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i was born a porn star she said
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
