I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
