Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
