you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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