I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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