there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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