was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
