Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
