Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
