Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
