I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize