STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
