me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I smell like Dick and happiness
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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