Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
