That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
