I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
