They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
my liver is dry heaving
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
