i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
