Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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