Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
