people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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