we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
